Screaming Penguin

So Pokemon has finally made its way to ToTSP, and I am sorry to be the bearer of such ill fortune. Am I sick you ask? No. In fact, this was an English assignment where we were supposed to write about a pilgrimage of some sort...which I did, about a pilgrimage of the common youngster to the local gaming store to purchase the worst creation known to man... This very well expresses my views on this horrible abomination. Read on, if you feel like it. It should speak for itself.... oh, and you will notice that it is all in verse. School paper, what are you gonna do.Enjoy! The Pokemon Pilgrimage A Friday has hit, and the pattern?s the same, As three little kids leave for a mission so lame. The school bell has rung and the classrooms have spilled Out one thousand young kids, all of them thrilled. Many will play with their baseballs and bats While others will go home and torture their cats, But what is this card game that receives so much fame? Why I cant even stand to utter its name For unholy is the meaning, to a guy such as me, But not to this greedy, hyperactive three. Unfortunately each Friday, the pattern repeats. They anxiously flip through their album sheets Of the thing I abhor in exchange for my pride As they wait for a parent to give them a ride. The pilgrimage embarks from the school around three, With their mother at the helm of a Mazda MPV. The oldest one, Tommy, is two hundred and seven Pounds on a scale, his age is eleven. Glasses the thickness of a bombproof glass shield, The lenses could withstand a high atomic yield. Blue is his T-shirt, bearing the name, The name of the game thats incredibly lame. And a huge yellow puff ball resembling Izzy, The thought of it all makes me grow dizzy. A surplus of freckles on his face in all places; An awkward smile, a victim of braces; His stare is as blank as the slate of his mind Which amounts to jack . . . sorry, I must be more kind. Here on this journey hes first in command; He can get what he wants at the wave of his hand, More spoiled is he than eight-year-old eggs. He?s the greediest being that walks on two legs. His mischievous dealings are conducted with guile Yet he still can?t run a thirty-minute mile. Endless are the incoming ridicules and taunts. Nevertheless, he knows what he wants. Oh boy! the three cry, Were halfway there! Obsession is a monster and we don?t stand a prayer, Neither does their overly indulgent mother. Now introducing the ten-year-old brother. Stanleys the name, but most call him Stan; He?s the most obnoxious brat in the van. His caffene level approaches two hundred or more On a scale no larger than a hundred and four. With straight, dark hair the color of coal Down to his eyebrows and cut like a bowl. A slender young lad, roughly four foot, five. Quite possibly the loudest kid alive. Rambunctious, insane, more carnivorous than not, Oblivious to the world outside of this rot, This worthless game that is totally lame, But Stan can call them all by name. Charizard, Clefairy, and Gyrodos too. Wigglytuff, Jigglypuff, and Pikachu. Screaming and squirming and making a scene Worse than a stab-wound right to the spleen. How does the mother suffer these conditions And still every Friday stick to traditions Hurry up mom, its half past four, They might sell out of the Venusaur. Kate is the youngest child in the mix Registering in at a month past six. Quiet and calm amidst Stans endless tantrum, And Tommys sales-pitch type Pokemon anthem. (No, how could I? I uttered the word! The name of the game that is utterly absurd!) Anyway, young Kate sits there virtually mute Donning a guise that is outwardly cute; A fiendish plan to appease the mater, So as to cash in on Pokemon goods a little later. (I cannot believe this! Im out of mind, Pronouncing the name to which Im unkind!) Too late to be spared of their mental afflictions, Nothing could cure their severe addictions, The owners of the biggest collection in the nation. The idea drives me towards regurgitation. Finally, at last, the van comes to a stop In front of a miniature gaming shop. The clerk at the counter has nowhere to hide As Tommy, Stan, and Kate come dashing inside. YAY!!! They exclaim as they dance all about Screaming for cards and seeking them out. Upon the sighting of the cards in a case Flying they go in a desperate race To be first to pick out the best of the packs Of ten one-cent cards more worthless than jacks Priced at roughly ten dollars a pop. Wait, what are those single cards sitting on top? That sixty dollar card looks like a good choice (I wish you could hear the sarcasm in my voice) Oh hey, its a Blastoise, hip hip horay! Mom can I have it?? Well what do you say?? NOW!!! cries Tommy, his hands banging the glass Which almost breaks under his excessive mass. GIVE ME A CHARIZARD! Stan yells very shrill. All you need is a one hundred dollar bill. Anything you want, my sweet little precious! The greed is most certainly becoming infectious Because Kate has unleashed her list of demands Which takes up at least two pages and spans The whole top shelf valued at five hundred or so. How does she have all that money to blow? Distressed, the mother falls under some curse And in utter dismay she opens her purse. In order to avoid her children?s sneers, She takes out a chart for the next twenty years Lets see, my young Kate. I hope you dont mind, But you?ve used all your allowance through 2009. Kate doesnt care, in fact none of them do, As long as they get a Zapdos or a Sandshrew. The mother pays up using American Express, Thatll be twelve thousand dollars: not a penny less!? The kids go home happy as happy can be, Until the next Friday at right around three. What is the point of this pitiful game? A pile of dirt would be worth just the same. I wouldnt be bothered if perhaps I was free From the begging and pleading of those annoying three, And millions of others that have followed suit, Constantly wasting all of their loot, But I am the clerk who has nowhere to run When the youngsters dash in, looking for fun. All different types, from short up to tall, Because, hey, come on! You gotta catch em all!